6 Steps to De-Weaponize “Privilege”

The very existence of identity-based, particularly race-based privilege is what led to the initiation of a police encounter for two black men in a Philadelphia Starbucks. It is what led to their subsequent arrest — merely for BEING. For EXISTING and being SEEN. For OCCUPYING space. For BREATHING air.

For 400+ years, identity-based privilege has been a weapon used to oppress, marginalize, and even murder people without privilege. Through economic systems that ensure “haves and have-nots,” state sanctioned violence, and social and political oppression of Indigenous, Black, Latino, Asian, gay, immigrant people and women, privilege has been the weapon of choice for people in power and they have acculturated the rest of us accordingly. While it lacks the immediacy of a bullet, privilege is a clear and present danger to our relationships, wellbeing, communication, and society. For some people, it is a genuine threat to life.

As if that wasn’t destructive enough, we have effectively weaponized the word “privilege.” We have turned it into a toxic concept, full of blame and recrimination. We lob it at one another like a stick of dynamite and sometimes we use it as the nuclear option in our discussions about gender, race, and class.

Sometimes when I say, “male privilege,” men glare, eye-roll, or they respond by engaging in verbal self-flagellation.

When people say, “white privilege” around white people, I often witness discomfort and indignation followed by assertions of hard work and claims that, “I am a good person.”

Mention “class privilege” to upper middle class black people and they are sometimes compelled to mention their journey out of poverty or the “hood” — to prove they are still “down.”

Do any of these generalizations feel familiar?

The way we have weaponized “privilege” in our dealings with one another leaves no room for constructive discussion, empathy, shared experiences, understanding, or to assume good intentions. In fact, it is guaranteed to cause as much damage as possible — damage to the individual, damage to the relationship/the ability to relate to one another, and damage to the truth.

THE TRUTH

When we intentionally hurl “privilege” at one another as a weapon, we dehumanize the “accused” person. We want to make them one-dimensional. We refuse to acknowledge a full life that likely includes joy, pain, safety, triumph, hard work, favoritism, loss, advantage, and a host of other experiences. We disregard the totality of their life experience and define them only as “privileged.” Does it sometimes feel like they deserve it? Probably…but then it’s not surprising this immediately leads to shame and blame; worthless debates; and worse yet — silence because the conversation is over before it really started. To de-weaponize “privilege,” the first step is for those of us with it, to stand in it — whether that is race, gender, class, able-bodied, or any other kind of privilege.

STANDING IN PRIVILEGE

1. If you have privilege, recognize it, embrace it, and admit it. It is not a character assessment. Instead, it reflects the value that society assigns to your social identity…so get over it!

2. Not all privilege is the same. Race privilege in America is by far the most powerful and therefore the most dangerous. Accept that, but not to the exception of recognizing other forms of privilege at play in society and in your life.

3. The context of our lives is curated by systemic privilege and oppression as well as social advantage and disadvantage[1]. Privilege and oppression reflect forces at play that are catalysts for racism, classism, sexism, xenophobia, etc. Social advantage and disadvantage shape our daily experiences in ways that are up close and personal. Check out Why I Won’t Give You Ten Tips to Manage Your Privilege for more on social advantage and social disadvantage.

4. Paraphrasing Luke 12:48 — To whom much is given, much is expected. If you fail to use your privilege to end injustice and inequity, you are complicit in injustice and inequity. How and when you choose to do that is up to you…but do something of value.

5. Before you get all, “I gotta go save someone,” start by talking to other people who share your privilege. It is the conversation you are least likely to have, and it is the conversation most likely to make a difference.

6. Be brave. When you are compelled, take the risk, and use your privilege as a tool for equity and justice. That’s brave. It goes beyond expressing indignation during high profile moments like #StarbucksWhileBlack. It’s about challenging the dynamics of power+privilege when others don’t or won’t.

CLOSING THOUGHT

A hammer was originally crafted as a tool. Shortly thereafter, someone figured out how to use it as a weapon.

Make no mistake. Privilege was originally crafted to and continues to be used as a weapon to oppress “others.” Subsequently, the word “privilege” has been weaponized as a response — to hold people with privilege accountable for it.

I’m ready to create a demilitarized zone, taking “privilege” from weapon to tool.

#GetUncomfortable with that.

[1] Burke, N. (2016, October 6). Why I Won’t Give You Ten Tips to Manage Your Privilege. https://medium.com/@natalie4health/why-i-wont-give-you-ten-tips-to-manage-your-privilege-9ba16cf31671